I Never Even Got to Say Goodbye
by lesbianshipperxoxo
Summary: What if Emily had been the one to disappear instead of Alison? How would it have affected the storyline?
1. Chapter 1

"She's gone."

Alison sat up on her sleeping bag, eyes narrowing at Spencer. "What do you mean, 'she's gone?'"

"She's not here. Emily," Spencer embellished to Aria and Hanna, who were slowly getting up, rubbing the sleep out of their eyes. "I woke up and she wasn't here, so then I started looking around. I checked everywhere- my house, Ali's house, her house. She's not here."

Alison felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. She ran her beautifully painted nails through her hair, twisting it around and around.

"Where could she have gone?" Aria asked. "Why would she just wake up in the middle of the night and leave like that?"

"I'm sure she's fine," Alison told the other girls with a shrug of her shoulders, making an attempt at being nonchalant. "She'll show up."

The other girls looked at Ali, forever amazed by her ability to act completely unruffled in the face of danger. "C'mon, girls, we better get back to sleep," she advised. "We have a big day tomorrow. I wanna go through Jason's stash and replace his pills with gas pills. Hopefully that'll teach him to get his head out of his ass and stop being such a crackhead."

The girls all nodded their heads, obediently rolling over on their sleeping bags and going back to sleep. But they didn't sleep well. Every single one of them dreamed of Emily that night, all lost and alone in the woods for some unexplainable reason, calling for them to come save her.

* * *

The next morning was one they would never forget. Emily never came back to the barn to let them know she was okay. They sat around that morning, staring down at their legs. Occasionally one of them would attempt to make conversation with the others, but their efforts died pretty quickly. Eventually when they couldn't put it off any longer, they gathered their stuff, leaving the barn and heading to the Fields.'

They hoped desperately that Emily would be the one to answer the door, smiling in her sweet way that only Emily could do, explaining why she had left them.

But luck was not on their side. Mrs. Fields answered the door, smiling at the four girls, inviting them inside. But her smile faltered when she noticed the grim looks on their faces. Counted the girls, finding out that there were only four girls standing on her doorstep instead of five.

"Hello, girls. Where's Emily?" She asked as the girls filed into the house one by one.

Aria, Hanna, and Spencer all looked to Alison. Of course. She was their leader. It was only natural that they'd expect her to figure out a way to break the news to Mrs. Fields. But how does one go about doing that? How do you explain to somebody's mother that their daughter's just... gone?

"Emily- she's gone," Alison said softly. "She disappeared last night. Spencer looked for her everywhere, but she couldn't find her."

Mrs. Fields' eyes widened, the weight of what they were saying fully sinking in. "Well, then- I'm sure she'll turn up eventually. I'm sure she's fine. I mean, where would she_ go?_ Emily loves her life here, she loves me and her father, she loves you girls. She has no reason to just disappear into thin air."

But Alison could think of one.

When she got home that day, tired and defeated, she headed upstairs to her room, taking out the letter from under her pillow. The letter that Emily had sent to Alison just days before. The letter where she simultaneously declared her love for Alison and expressed her hurt over Alison playing with her feelings at the same time. The letter that Ali had never told Emily she had received, but she was sure the girl just_ knew._ There was a different current in the air ever since she had received it- a sense of anger, a sense of detachment.

She knew it was narcissistic to assume that Emily had run away from home because Alison had told her that she didn't feel the same way about her, but really, what else could she really think in this situation? Mrs. Fields had been right. Emily loved her life here. She really had no other reason to leave.

If she was sure of one thing, it was that she could under no circumstances tell the other girls about this. Which wouldn't be a problem, anyways, since she was the queen of secrets. What if they ditched her completely if they found out that Emily had left because of Alison? A queen was nothing without her faithful lackeys. She couldn't afford that.

And besides, deep down inside, a part of her didn't want to out Emily by revealing Emily's crush on Alison. Sure, she had had no problem spilling other people's secrets in the past, but she felt different about this. It just didn't seem right.

* * *

The next year was a blur. It seemed like people just couldn't keep their eyes off of Alison, Spencer, Aria, and Hanna at school. Alison always glared at them until they turned their heads and minded their own business, but she knew they always turned to look again after her back was turned. Really, were they_ that_ interesting to look at? Yes, they were gorgeous, and yes, they had been best friends with the missing girl, the girl whom had caused a wave of panic to wash over Rosewood after her disappearance, but what were people expecting to figure out by looking at her old friends? Did they think they'd look at them, and then suddenly have a wave of brilliance, figuring out what had happened to her?

Life in Rosewood had changed drastically ever since Emily went missing. Everyone except Alison thought that Emily had been kidnapped, not run away; people had assumed stuff like that didn't happen in Rosewood. And that was true, for the most part. Everyone in Rosewood knew each other. You couldn't go to the local drugstore to buy condoms without five people spotting you at once and then calling your mother to inquire whether she knew where you were and what you were doing.

But now, parents were being more careful about where their children were. You couldn't go to a friend's house without agreeing to text your mom every hour to let her know that you were safe and not kidnapped like that poor Emily Fields girl. And good luck trying to stay out until nine at night without your parents placing a frantic call to the police, making them start a manhunt throughout town until they found you, sitting on your boyfriend's couch, lips plastered to his with his hand halfway up your skirt.

Alison did her best to act normal on the outside, but she was a mess of emotions on the inside. She just wanted Emily to come home, back to Alison. Where she belonged. How could she be so stupid to just up and leave like that? It was a cold, cruel world out there. She'd never make it on her own.

Although a nagging part of Alison's brain wasn't even sure Emily_ had_ left town of her own free will. A distraught Mrs. Fields had reported to the police that day that Emily's room was still in the neat shape it was always in, was in the exact same condition it had been when she left for Spencer's that day. Nothing had been messed up or taken. Her clothes were still hanging up in the closet, untouched. The room still looked like somebody lived there. Mrs. Fields went in every week to dust and remake the bed, even though it was still as perfectly neat as it had been the last time she had gone in to do it.

* * *

"Hey, DiLaurentis! Wait up!"

Alison spun around, eyes rolling when she saw Ben Coogan making his way towards her. What did he want? If he was gonna bring up Emily, she was fully prepared to smack him. There was an unspoken rule between the girls that Emily was a forbidden topic, but other people hadn't seemed to grasp that concept yet. They insisted on asking Alison if Emily had magically showed up at home again in the past twenty four hours, as if they wouldn't know that information already if Emily _was_ back. "What do you want?" She snapped.

"So touchy. I just wanted to tell you how nice I think you look today," he said suggestively, running an arm lightly over her bare arm. She smacked his hand away.

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know." She adjusted the straps of her dress.

"Modest, too." Ben smirked.

"It's hard to be modest when you look this good."

"I wouldn't be one to disagree with that." The way he looked at her gave her goosebumps. He was such a perv._ I don't know how Emily could stand dating him,_ the blonde thought to herself, but then mentally told herself to shut up. She had just broken her own rule by thinking of Emily. The feeling of pain that she experienced whenever she thought of her best friend washed over her, taking her by surprise and completely capsizing her the way it always did.

"Always the flatterer. I'd say the same of you, but my mom always tells me not to tell a lie."

"Playing hard to get. Just my type. Whaddya say we hang out sometime? Get to know each other a little better?"

"And why exactly do you want to hang out with me?"

"You're hot. You're a girl, I'm a guy. You do the math." He winked at her. "And Emily-"

"What about her?"

"I know she always wanted us to be friends while she was still here. I was her boyfriend, you were her best friend, it killed her that we couldn't have a conversation for ten seconds without you telling me to go jump off a bridge. I'm sure it would make her happy to know that we're getting to know each other now that she's gone, at least."

Alison stood there, glaring at him for a moment, trying to ease the lump in her throat before she started crying. "You're making it sound like she's dead or something. She's not dead. She's just- gone. But fine. Pick me up at my house at six. Don't be late."

She spun around, blonde hair flying into his face as she flounced off without another word.

* * *

"I had a good time."

Alison nodded her head noncommittally at him as he walked her up to his front door. "Well, I'm always in for free food."

"How about we go out tomorrow night?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Sure, why not? Sounds better than listening to Spencer moan on about how hot her sister's latest fiance is, at least."

"Perfect."

And then he did something that he really shouldn't have done, considering the fact that this wasn't even an actual date (at least, it hadn't been one from Alison's perspective,) and who had brought them together in the first place. He leaned in, gently kissing her cheek once before his lips moved to hers.

And badly enough, Alison liked it.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow." He kissed her gently once more, hand squeezing her arm before he left.

Alison headed into the house, heading to her bathroom to shower and change into her pajamas. She felt her phone go off, and she grabbed it, expecting it to be Aria complaining about her latest family issues, or Hanna asking her to come over and help throw away all the food in the house so she wouldn't be tempted to binge and purge anymore. Which never lasted very long, of course. But it wasn't either of them.

**Unknown Number: Oh, no, you're replacing me already! And with BEN of all people, too. I thought what we had was special, Ali! -E**

She felt her heart stop. What the hell? Who would play some kind of cruel joke on her like this? But then again, what if it wasn't a joke? What if Emily was really still around Rosewood, watching Alison at this very moment? It couldn't be a joke. Nobody but her knew about Emily's feelings for Alison.

But the thought of having someone watch her, even if that person was Emily, creeped her out.

She headed out of the bathroom and into her bedroom, locking her windows and tightly shutting the curtains.

* * *

"I wonder what's going on at your house, Ali," Spencer said, nodding towards Alison's house. It seemed like the whole town of Rosewood was parked in front of it, including an ambulance and two police cars.

Alison shrugged. "Jason's probably collapsed from all the drugs again and my mom called 911. No biggie."

"Um... A-Alison... I don't think it's that," Hanna whispered.

"God, don't be so over dramatic, Hanna," Alison snapped, but when she looked over at Hanna and saw her looking down at her phone, face white as a ghost, it seemed as if Hanna wasn't just guessing.

"What? What does it say?" Hanna didn't move as she stared down at the message, didn't even blink. She snatched the phone from her, reading the text message.

**Unknown Number: I can't believe you bitches thought I was that little hoe Emily. She's dead, silly! She's been behind Alison's house the entire time, buried by some crazie. RIP, Emily Fields. -E**

"You guys have been getting the texts, too?" Ali asked quietly, looking around at her friends. They all nodded their heads silently.

"NO!" She screamed, throwing Hanna's phone to the ground. She bounded away, pushing people mercilessly out of her way without hesitation, making her way to her house, just in time to see two paramedics wheeling a stretcher away from the backyard and into the ambulance.

Alison didn't even have to ask anyone what was going on. She could hear them whispering, talking about what a shame it was for such a young, beautiful, athletic girl like Emily to die. She could see Mr. Fields wrapping his arms around Mrs. Fields, letting her cry into his chest. Their daughter was dead. Gone. No longer here. And they'd never get to say goodbye.

Alison hadn't been able to say goodbye, either.

* * *

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	2. Chapter 2

"Girls, I asked you to come here today because I wanted to discuss Emily's funeral with you."

Alison, Spencer, Hanna, and Aria were sitting around the Fields' dining room, picking at the muffins Mrs. Fields had offered them, even though they really weren't hungry. Especially considering the matter at hand.

Ali was too busy thinking about an afternoon her and Emily had spent at this exact table three weeks before her death.

* * *

_"Don't you think he's hot, Em?" Alison asked gloatingly, a smirk on her face as she showed the magazine that she had been poring over to Emily. It was a picture of Taylor Lautner, shirt off as usual (really, he had his shirt off so much Alison didn't know how his fans were even able to recognize him when he was fully clothed.)_

_"He's alright," Emily muttered, not even meeting Alison's gaze as she stared down at her own magazine._

_"Although she seems to be more of your type, huh?" Alison asked, pointing to a picture of Taylor Swift. "I know you have a thing for blondes."_

_Emily shut her magazine with a snap, taking Alison's from her as well. "You know, Alison, my parents and I are going out to dinner tonight, and I have to get ready. You should probably go home."_

* * *

"What did you want to discuss, Mrs. Fields?" Aria asked. "Do you want us to give eulogies or something?"

"That was part of what I wanted to ask you girls, yes," she answered. "It's what Emily would've wanted, for you all to get the chance to speak at her funeral. I-" Mrs. Fields eyes were puffy and were quickly filling over with tears, much like they had been doing ever since Emily's body had been found. And really, who could blame her? Her child was_ dead._

Spencer's parents had once said that no parent should ever have to deal with burying their own child, and the girls believed that that was true now more than ever.

"I know that Emily would've done the same if it were one of you girls to meet this unfortunate fate," Mrs. Fields finished quietly, finally able to pull herself together. Hanna handed her a wad of tissues to dab her eyes with. "Though thank goodness this didn't happen to any of you. It's the worst thing a parent could ever have to deal with... outliving their own child... I'd also like to tell you girls that you're more than welcome to bring an object with you to place in Emily's grave to rest with her. Maybe a gift she gave you, or a photograph... really, anything's welcome."

Alison didn't know about the other girls, but she already knew what she was going to place with Emily.

* * *

_"It's beautiful, Alison." Emily stared down at the necklace that she had been given, still placed in the box it had been sent home with Alison in. She looked up, smiling softly at the blonde. "I love it."_

_"I'm glad." Alison tossed her hair over her shoulder, leaning over a bit. "I wanted to give you something nice. Something that's not like The Jenna Thing Bracelet that I gave all the other girls, too. I wanted to have something just between you and me, since we're so much** closer** than the others. And look..." she leaned over, a finger running over the word engraved on the necklace. Emily had been too excited about the gift to notice it at first. "Yours says 'Friends.' And mine..." she reached into her shirt, taking her half of it out. "Says 'Best.' And they fit together just like this..." she slid the necklaces until they were fitted into each other. "Just like you and me."_

_Emily looked up at Alison, that same adoring smile on her face that she always had whenever she looked at her, and Alison felt a twinge in her stomach, but she pushed that feeling away._

* * *

"I'm so glad you could make it, ladies." Mrs. Fields walked quickly towards the four girls standing awkwardly at the door, looking around the church. There were flowers and pictures of Emily everywhere, smiling so happily at the camera, looking so fresh and beautiful and _young_. So naive, so unaware of what her fate was. Alison felt like someone had just stabbed her in the chest when she saw the casket containing Emily's body at the front of the church, and she felt that familiar prickling feeling at the back of her eyes, but she pushed her feelings away. She hadn't let anyone see her cry since they had found Emily's body, not even her family. She hated showing weakness, and she wasn't about to start now. Not even if it killed her.

Mrs. Fields hugged each girl one by one. "Please sit up in the front row," she told them gently. "You were practically family to Emily."

They nodded, obliging. They headed up to the front of the church, sitting down in the front row. Alison smoothed down the fabric of her dress nervously, crossing her legs and waiting for the service to begin.

The service went as smoothly as a funeral could go. Practically the whole of Rosewood was there, since everyone had adored Emily so much. The pastor talked for a while, then they prayed, and then they sang. Finally, it was eulogy time.

Her parents went first, then Spencer and Aria. As Aria was finishing up her speech, Hanna nudged Alison. "Aren't you gonna get yours out?" She whispered. "You're going after me."

Alison looked blankly at her friend. "What? I'm not speaking."

Hanna's forehead crinkled. "What do you mean, 'you're not speaking? Of _course_ you're speaking! You have to speak!"

"No, actually, I don't. And I don't have anything to say. Anything that I want the entirety of Rosewood to hear, anyways," she hissed.

"Don't you think you kinda owe it to her?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not stupid. At least, not about this sort of stuff. I know that Emily was- into you. And I know that you broke her heart."

"Um, do you care to explain _how?_ Or are you just gonna keep me guessing?"

"It was the way she looked at you. She looked at you so tenderly, so lovingly." Alison looked down at her hands. Nobody had loved Alison the way Emily did. Not even her own family. And now she was _gone_. "And really, Ali, you guys were in a public locker room. You weren't the only ones in there when you snapped at her."

Alison stood up. She was on the verge of crying for real right here in front of everyone, and that was just unacceptable. "Bye," she snapped, turning around and heading out of the church.

* * *

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

Alison sat up in her bed fearfully, pulling the covers up to her face._ It was just the wind, Ali,_ she tried to tell herself, but she didn't convince herself very much. Especially when she heard the tapping again. It was _definitely_ a person. Who could it be? E?

She got out of bed, slipping her robe on and tiptoeing over to the window. She was prepared to simply look out the window to see who it was really quick, and then sprint out of her bedroom and to Jason's room for protection if need be. Her and her brother may not get along very well, but he would crush anyone who tried to hurt her in a second.

Luckily, it wasn't an axe murderer trying to kill her at the window, though. It was Ben. He was clinging to a tree with one arm, the other he was using to knock on Alison's window.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked, but she couldn't contain the giggle that was building up inside of her. Since when did she _giggle?_

"Coming to visit you. Obviously." She reached out her hands, helping him off the tree and into her window.

"And you didn't think of using the front door? Or, y'know, texting me before you scaled my tree?"

"I figured your dad would kill you _and_ me if a boy came to the front door for you at three in the morning." He shrugged.

"Valid point."

"So, I came to see how you're doing," he told her. "I know that Emily's funeral was hard for both of us."

"I just-" Alison sighed, walking over to the bed and sitting down on it. He followed, sitting down right beside her. "There's so many things I want to say to her. And now I'm never gonna get the chance."

"What kinds of things?"

_That I'm so sorry about hurting her. That I wish I could do it all over again._ "That- I wish I knew who did it to her, because I'd hunt him down and kill him in a second if I could," Alison lied. That sounded legit enough.

Ben nodded. "Same here. It makes me sick to imagine someone doing so something to poor Emily."

"You know- I'd love to stay up and talk to you all night, but I have school tomorrow and I really don't want to be walking around like a zombie all day," she told him.

"I get it. But before I go..." he leaned over and pressed his lips to hers, just like he had done the other night. Alison felt that familiar fluttering feeling in her stomach. The same feeling she had gotten when he kissed her for the first time. "I've been wanting to do that ever since I saw you sitting in the front row at the funeral."

She smiled at him. "I'll see you in a few hours, then." She stood up, walking over to the window and making sure he got down to the ground safely.

Just as she was walking back to her bed, her phone went off.

She grabbed it, heart racing. Damn it. Unknown Number.

Alison tried with all her might to not open the text, but it was impossible. That was like trying to tell someone to not imagine a polka dotted elephant in the corner of the room- once you do, that's all they can think about.

There were two photos attached to the text.

One was of Alison leaving the funeral early, the other had been taken just moments ago. It was of Ben and Alison sitting on Alison's bed, kissing. She looked around wildly, heart racing.

**You're mine now, bitch. It wouldn't take much to get the people in Rosewood to believe that beautiful, popular little Alison DiLaurentis killed her best friend Emily so she could have her boyfriend Ben. These photos is the only proof I need. I doubt even you could pull off an orange jumpsuit. Adios, Beauty! -E**

* * *

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	3. Chapter 3

"Alison?"

Alison was at lunch the next day with her friends, staring down in disbelief at the note she had just found in her bag. It hadn't been there ten minutes ago when she had left her Algebra II class, but it sure as hell was now.

**Wanna protect your reputation? Meet me at the Kissing Rock today after school. Come alone. Plant some fake evidence linked to Emily's death in Spencer's house, and the photos will remain our little secret. -E**

"What is it?" Hanna asked, arching an eyebrow at Alison.

"Nothing," Alison snapped, still angry about what had happened at the funeral.

"Is it another E note?"

"No. It's just a note from my mom," Alison lied smoothly. "She said that we're going out for an early dinner tonight for my dad's birthday, so I can't go with you guys to The Brew."

"But you said you'd help me hook up with that hot guy from Sociology today," Aria protested, a frown on her face.

Alison rolled her eyes. "Calm your tits, Aria. It's not like today will be your only chance to get with him. We'll do it next week."

* * *

The blonde girl pulled her jacket tighter around her body as she sat on the Kissing Rock later that day, the chilly fall air biting unpleasantly at her skin. She wished that E would just show up already, but she was terrified at the same time. Normally she would've brought the girls with her, but how exactly was she supposed to go about doing that in this situation?_ Oh yeah, could you come with me to the Kissing Rock later today to get some items to plant in Spencer's house so that she gets arrested for Emily's murder for the rest of her life?_

She reached a hand down onto the smooth surface of the rock, tracing the** EF+AD** that she had written on it the year before. Emily had had no idea that she had done it, but when she was waiting for Ian to come meet her one time, she got bored and ended up writing her and Emily's initials onto it. That was the day she had died, as a matter of fact...

Her eyes teared up a little, and she wiped them with the sleeve of her jacket. She tried to remember the way Emily's lips had felt against hers, the softness of her hair and skin, the way her laugh sounded like the tinkling of bells...

But those memories were slowly starting to fade away, and it scared Alison more than anything else.

Her eyes snapped up as she heard the crunching of leaves, the sounds of someone slowly approaching her. E, the person who somehow knew all these secrets about Alison and her friends, was just steps away from her.

She didn't know what she expected. She had assumed that whoever E was would've revealed who he or she was in this meeting, but Alison should've known better. Judging from the shape, E was a female, but that was all Ali was able to gauge. She was wearing a hoodie, so Alison was unable to see her face.

E stepped closer, holding out a box to Alison. She took it with trembling hands, opening it up.

The first item that she pulled out nearly made her throw up her lunch right onto the grass. It was a trophy. Looking closer at it, she learned that Spencer got it her freshman year for getting first place in the annual state spelling bee. And it was covered in blood.

"Emily's... blood?" She whispered, petrified as she looked at E, and although it was a tiny movement so she didn't accidentally move her hood and reveal her true identity, E gave the tiniest of nods. Alison was holding a trophy with Emily's blood on it. This had come out of Emily's body... there had been a struggle to get it, Emily had been hurt, she had lost her life in this struggle. Hell, maybe E _was_ Emily's murderer.

"You bitch!" she screamed, jumping up and brandishing the trophy at E as a weapon.

E jumped forward, grabbing Alison by the shoulders and pushing her to the ground. Alison let out a scream, reaching up to punch E in the face, but pulling her hood off instead.

Alison's eyes widened as a feeling of recognition washed over her body.

"You're..."

But it was that exact moment that E took the trophy, bashing Alison over the head with it over and over again, and the entire world went dark.

* * *

"What do you think's up with Alison lately?" Aria asked, frowning. Her, Spencer, and Hanna were at The Brew that afternoon, drinking coffee and talking quietly.

"Emily's dead," Hanna replied with a roll of her eyes, tossing her hair casually over her shoulder.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious." Spencer gently smacked her friend's arm.

"You didn't let me finish." Hanna glared at Spencer. "Emily's dead, and it's been pretty freaking hard on all of us. But people grieve in different ways. Did you really expect_ Ali_ of all people to be all cozy and cuddly and talk about her feelings to us?"

The girls shrugged, falling silent again. But right then, all of their phones went off, ringtones bouncing out across the coffee shop right after another.

Their faces went pale. "Damn it," Hanna whispered. They took them out slowly, opening up the new text message.

**She knew too much. Guess Emily will be glad to see her precious Alison in Hell, where they _both_ belong. -E**

* * *

"Okay, E could just be bluffing with us, guys," Aria told her two friends, always the voice of reason as they bustled up the DiLaurentis driveway. "Who knows, Alison could really be safe and sound at dinner with her family right now, and E's at home laughing at our naivety."

"Alison could be safe and sound at dinner with her family?" Spencer snapped. "Then why are their cars parked in the driveway? They're clearly home, Aria."

She stormed up to the front door, ringing the doorbell, and Jason answered a few moments later.

"Is... everything okay?" He asked, forehead creasing as he noticed the look on Spencer's face, the way she was standing with her hands clenched, arms thrust behind her back.

"Is Alison home?"

"No."

"So... you guys got home from your dad's birthday dinner, and then she left?"

"It's not my dad's birthday." Jason looked at her like he wanted her to be put in a straitjacket ASAP. "She never came home. I thought she'd be at The Brew with you guys."

Spencer turned around to face Hanna and Aria, face pale. "We're going around Rosewood looking for her. And we're not stopping until we find Ali."

* * *

They searched for half an hour, and then they finally found her passed out a couple of feet away from the Kissing Rock, her head resting in a pool of blood.

"Aria, call 911 and Alison's parents," Spencer called desperately as she crouched down beneath her unconscious friend, gripping her hand. It was clammy. "Ali, it'll be okay," she whispered. "Just keep hanging on. You're... you're Ali and you're fabulous, remember?"

Alison rolled over, eyes fluttering open. "E-Emily?" She whispered.

"It's not Emily, it's... it's Spencer, Ali."

"I want Emily. Give me back to Emily, Spencer," Alison begged. She reached her arms up, gripping Spencer's wrist with a grasp that was surprisingly strong for a girl who had lost a considerable amount of blood.

"Alison, I c-can't do that," Spencer whispered, her own eyes filling up with tears. "She's gone, Ali."

"Then let me die, too," the blonde murmured as she drifted out of consciousness again.

* * *

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	4. Chapter 4

"Alison!" Mrs. DiLaurentis bustled quickly into Alison's hospital room, followed by Mr. DiLaurentis and Jason.

"Mom, you're embarrassing me," she groaned as her mother pulled her into the tightest hug imaginable, stroking her hair, which had been pulled into a loose knot at the top of her head by Spencer per Alison's request.

"Shh. How are you feeling, dear? Who did this to you?"

_A random anonymous person pretending to be my dead best friend who lured me there to give me false evidence to plant in my living best friend's house linking to Emily's death._ "I don't know," Alison said with a shrug. "I didn't see their face."

"Are you hungry? Why, you didn't get the chance to eat dinner, and it's already seven o'clock." Mrs. DiLaurentis clucked her tongue, speechless by the terrible trauma her daughter must be suffering due to her empty stomach. "You must be hungry. I'll find a nurse and get them to bring you something."

She headed out of the room, and Alison asked Jason and Mr. DiLaurentis to go with her, wanting some time alone to talk with her friends. They were reluctant at first, but eventually they agreed.

"It was E, wasn't it?" Spencer asked once the four girls were alone. "We got a text from E. That's how we knew you were in trouble."

"Mhmm." Alison nodded her head, not meeting Spencer's eyes. She was almost... ashamed with herself at what she had been trying to do. Maybe she _deserved_ what E had tried to do to her.

"So? Did you really not see who it was?" Hanna pressed.

Alison took a gulp of air. "I pulled her hood down, but... now I can't remember who it was."

"What?!" Aria, Spencer, and Hanna all exclaimed at what.

"Hey, guys, chill." Alison wrung her hands. "I suffered a serious head trauma. You're lucky I'm still here."

Mrs. DiLaurentis came back into the room just then, followed by a nurse holding a tray of fairly unappetizing food. The rest of the night passed by quickly, the girls flipping through magazines and gossiping about who was so hot and who was so not.

* * *

Alison awoke with a startle that night. She glanced over at the clock. It was two in the morning. What had startled her awake like that? Her eyes scanned the room, checking for anything out of place, but she couldn't see anything...

Except- was that a pair of eyes looking out at her from the closet?

"W-who's there?" She asked shakily. She tried to sound brave and scary, but that was hard to do when you're an injured, scared sixteen year old girl sitting alone in a hospital bed in the middle of the night.

"Ali?"

Alison's heart sped up, but her muscles relaxed. That was a voice she hadn't heard in forever.

Emily.

The closet door opened, and Emily stepped out. She slowly made her way towards the bed.

"Am I dreaming?" Alison whispered.

"I wish you were." Emily smiled softly at her. "If you were, maybe when you woke up you'd realize me being dead was part of the dream, and I'd be right by your side the next day, taking on the world with you." She sat down on the edge of the bed, her fingers intertwining with Alison's. Emily was dead, but she didn't feel transparent or cold. She was so solid and warm. Emily felt exactly like she always had. Alison took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of roses and strawberries, the scent that was uniquely Emily's. She smelled the same as she always had.

"Who did this to you? Why would someone do something like this to someone like you? I'm the one who deserved to die. I-I'm a terrible person. And I hurt you, I hurt you so much, but for some reason I'm still here and you're gone."

"I'm not upset over that anymore, Ali." She leaned over, pressing a chaste kiss to the girl's cheek.

"Why? Do you not love me anymore?" Perhaps it was selfish for Alison's biggest concern at the moment to be whether Emily still had the same affections for her, especially after everything she had done, but the idea of Emily not loving her anymore petrified her. Even if she was dead, and there was no way they could ever be together.

"Of course I still love you, silly. I think I love you now even more than I did when I was alive. But..." Emily shrugged. "When you're dead, trivial little things like that don't matter anymore. You loved me back then, too, didn't you? You were just too scared to admit it, so you hurt me."

"Yeah... I did love you. I still do. But Em..." Alison tried to sit up, but Emily pushed her back down onto the bed gently.

"You should be resting."

"You didn't answer my question before. About who did it? Was it someone you knew?"

"Most murders are."

Alison cringed at that word. She hadn't heard anyone refer to Emily's death like that before, with such a cruel, harsh word as 'murder,' and she was glad. That word made it so much more real. "Did they hate you? Is it someone I know, someone who's still around? Is the same person who killed you E?"

"No, they liked me." Emily looked off thoughtfully into the distance. "You know them. They're still right here in Rosewood. Maybe it's the same person, maybe it isn't. Just remember, Ali- don't close your eyes for a second. You always have to be on top of your game if you want to avoid the same fate as me."

"But-"

"I have to go."

"No! D-don't leave me!"

"You can figure it out if you try, you know. Spencer may be the genius of the group, but you're pretty smart yourself. Just keep digging, and you'll figure it out... who killed me, _and_ who E is."

Emily leaned over, lips pressing to Alison's before she stood up, leaving the room (and perhaps Alison's life) for good.

* * *

"Hey, babe."

Ben pressed his lips to Alison's the next afternoon. "How are you feeling?" He asked her gently.

She shrugged her shoulders. "As well as anyone in my condition can feel, I guess."

Maybe Alison should feel like she had cheated on Ben, what with the kiss she had shared (or dreamed she had shared) with Emily last night, but instead she felt like she was cheating on Emily when Ben kissed her.

"Do you know who did it to you?"

Alison heaved a big sigh, giving him the same bullshit excuse she had given everyone else, and he bought it.

"Can I tell you something?"

"If you must."

Ben laughed, affectionately running his thumb over one of Alison's hands. The hand that_ she_ had held so carefully, so lovingly last night. "Ah, Ali, always the closed-off one. Well, you have to promise to not think I'm crazy first."

"Okay."

"I saw Emily last night. She told me a lot of stuff about you."

Alison's eyes widened, and she mentally cursed to herself. "Um... what kind of stuff?"

"She told me that she was watching over you. That you were fine."

"O-oh." What did Alison expect him to say? That Alison wasn't really into him, that she had kissed Emily that very same night, and she liked it?

"You okay? You seem kinda jumpy."

"I'm fine. Just... tired."

"Well, you can sleep, then." Ben shrugged his shoulders. "I'll stay here with you until you do. Keep all the monsters away."

Alison gave him a small smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'll talk to you later," she murmured with a yawn as she drifted off to sweet oblivion.

* * *

"I don't know what to wear to the dinner tonight," Spencer complained to her sister that evening.

"Here, you can borrow something." Melissa stood off of the bed, walking over to the closet and beginning to rummage through it, trying to find a dress for Spencer to wear. Spencer had just wanted to go straight to her room and work on this huge paper that was due for AP Literary Themes next week, but her mother had met her at the door, informing her that she would be spending the afternoon with her sister, 'bonding.' Her mom had been desperately trying to get the two on speaking terms again after the Wren incident, with little success thus far. The two had painted each other's nails and discussed Spencer's classes for most of the afternoon, awkwardly trying to avoid anything about boys.

Spencer quickly grew bored as she sat on the bed, waiting for Melissa to find something. She was just opening her mouth to suggest they go get some frozen yogurt before they had to get ready for the dinner when Melissa spun around. "I have to go to the bathroom. You can keep looking while I'm gone."

She nodded her head, replacing her sister in front of the closet as she sorted through it, trying to find something to wear. And that was when she found it.

It was just a small, black box sitting at the back of Melissa's closet, but for some reason it drew Spencer in. She refused to look away until she grabbed the box, opening it up and finding out what was inside it. But after she had, she wished she hadn't.

Inside was a picture of Emily. It looked like it had been cut from the yearbook their freshman year. The sight of Emily looking so happy, carefree, young sent a twinge of sadness running through Spencer's body. More than anything, she wished she could've been there to protect her friend when she was in danger. She had literally been about two hundred feet from where Emily was murdered and buried.

But it wasn't the picture that alarmed her. It was the horns drawn on her head, and the word 'DYKE' written across Emily's face in angry red marker.

Spencer's mind started racing a thousand miles an hour. Had Emily been gay? She had been dating Ben, but Emily had always seemed a little too protective of Alison. And she avoided their eyes whenever they were changing in the locker room, as if she was afraid of what she'd feel if she saw their partially naked bodies. And she did wear plaid_ way_ too much.

So maybe Emily had been gay.

But why did Melissa have this photo? As far as Spencer could remember, her sister had never showed signs of outright homophobia.

But she had always seemed to turn her nose up whenever Emily was in the room, as if she was far better than her. And she always turned the channel whenever Ellen came on.

Spencer peered further into the closet, trying to find something else that would help her understand what this all meant, and that was when she saw it.

One of her trophies, covered in blood. What appeared to be fresh blood.

Alison's blood.

She remembered hearing Alison tell the police that the object she had been hit with was a trophy.

Spencer could hear the sounds of footsteps sneaking up behind her, her sister breathing, even though she tried to be as quiet as she could.

"You're E, aren't you?"

* * *

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	5. Chapter 5

"So, you figured it out." Melissa sneered at Spencer. "Though Alison was the one who discovered my true identity first, but I knocked her out hard enough that I'm surprised she can even remember her own name now, let alone that crucial piece of information. And you'll be lucky if your fate isn't as bad as Emily's."

"Mom and Dad will be home soon..."

"And what will they find when they come home, huh, Spence? Me crying over your lifeless body, telling them that I ran out to get us some frozen yogurt and came back to find you this way? Do you think they'll immediately jump to the conclusion that their_ perfect_ daughter killed her own sister?"

Melissa stepped forward several steps, eyes locked on Spencer's. Spencer trembled but kept her eyes locked on Melissa's. She knew that Aria and Hanna had planned to go back to the hospital later that night to visit Alison, so she nimbly reached her fingers into the pocket of her jeans where she kept her phone, pressing buttons to dial Alison's cell phone without looking away from her sister.

"What did you have against her?" Spencer whispered, brandishing the defaced photo of Emily at Melissa. "What did you have against her? She was a good person! She never did anything to hurt anyone, so why?"

"She was _gay_." Melissa spit the word 'gay' out like someone would say 'rapist.' Spencer's mouth twitched. "Alison wasn't Emily's first girl kiss, you know. Oh, she came over one afternoon looking for you and you were out, so I told her she could stay and wait for you. Something was clearly on her mind, so I asked her what was wrong, and the story came tumbling out in one big jumble, telling me how she was gay and she was pretty sure she was falling in love with Alison, and how all she could think about was when she was with her was that she wanted to kiss her, and how her mom might never speak to her again if she found out. So then I was opening my mouth to tell her that being gay is _wrong,_ it's a sin against God, and she kissed me." Melissa's upper lip curled in disgust. "I told her to leave and never look at me again. It was disgusting."

Spencer shook her head. "You're not the person I thought you were."

"I could say the same thing of you,_ sis._ I didn't even know until a few weeks ago when I found out all of your guys' little secrets that you kissed Ian back in the day. And you kissed Wren. You really can't keep your hands off of my stuff, now can you?"

"Did you kill her?"

"No. Though I wish I knew the person who did, I'd congratulate them. One less dyke in the world to deal with."

Spencer felt like she was about to throw up. "You're sick."

"No, you are." Melissa reached into her pocket, slowly taking out a long bladed knife, and vomiting right then and there kept looking like a better and better option to her. Was her own sister really about to kill her? "And I'm about to take care of you right now. I'm sure your little dyke friend will be happy to see you again."

Melissa ran at Spencer, but Spencer was in good shape. She quickly dodged out of the way, hair threatening to come loose out of its ponytail. "Screw you," she yelled as Melissa charged again. She grabbed her sister's arm, twisting it around until Melissa let out a small yelp of pain, and then she ran to the bedroom door, yanking it open. She took off down the hallway, wincing as she heard Melissa's footsteps not far behind her.

She ran down the stairs, tripped and fell on the last one, going flying across the living room. Melissa approached her slowly, a manic gleam on her face.

"Is there anything you want to say before you die?" She asked leeringly as she crouched down, agonizingly moving the knife slowly towards Spencer's throat.

And then she was gone.

Spencer sat up, confused, looking around. Where had Melissa gone? Was she already dead yet? But if she was, why was she still sitting here in the middle of the living room?

She looked over, and finally spotted him. Toby Cavanaugh had rescued her. He was standing there, restraining Melissa from escaping, while a cop stood there in front of her, reciting that she was under arrest for the attempted murder of Spencer Hastings.

What the hell? What was Toby doing here? Spencer was sure that he must hate her and her friends for blinding his stepsister and then letting him take the fall for it. Why would he save her?

That was the last thought that ran through her head before she passed out.

* * *

"Guess we're in the same hospital at the same time." Alison let out a little laugh. "And because of the same person."

Spencer's eyes slowly fluttered open, immediately focusing in on Alison's face. She was still in her hospital gown, hair braided messily down her back, no makeup on, but despite all of that she still looked like the perfect Barbie. It was so annoying, but it also gave her such a good feeling to point to such a perfectly put-together girl in the hallway and say that that was her best friend. Even if Alison drove her crazy most of the time.

"Why are you in here?"

"The nurse didn't want to let me leave my room, but I threatened to announce the boob job she got last year without telling anyone to the entire world if she didn't let me come in here, and she caved." Spencer gaped at her, but Alison shrugged her shoulders as if it was no big deal. And to her, it probably wasn't. That was just who Alison was. She figured out people's secrets, and then she used it against them.

"What happened to Melissa? And w-why did Toby save me?"

"She's in the county jail right now, awaiting her trial. But really, there's no chance that she's not going to be locked up for life for this one. You don't know why?"

Spencer's brow creased. "No, why should I?"

"Spence, he's been crushing on you for, like, ever." Alison rolled her eyes. "Sometimes it makes me want to stab a knife down my throat seeing him give you those puppy eyes all the god-damned time, but surprisingly, it's also a little cute. Just a little. So when me and Hanna and Aria received that call where it sounded like Melissa was planning on slitting your throat any moment, we called Toby and told him that if he rushed over there he could save the day. And he did, of course." Alison let out an overdramatic, obviously-for-the-attention sigh. "Ah, young love."

"Where are my parents?"

"Probably at home mulling over the fact that gasp! Their perfect daughter wasn't exactly as perfect as she claimed to be. They came to visit you while you were passed out, but they're just not in a very good state of mind right now. They're already refusing to attend Melissa's trial."

Spencer looked down at her hands, thinking that over. She couldn't help but think about some of the things Melissa had told her, about Emily's true feelings for Alison. "Did you know that Emily was in love with you?" She blurted out.

Alison stared at her like she was an idiot. "Of course I did. Emily kissed me, remember? Melissa told you that."

"Did you feel the same way?"

"Ugh!" Alison let out a frustrated grunt. "Is it really that impossible for you people to shut up about that topic for once? Does it_ matter,_ Spencer? No matter what my answer is, she's dead! She's gone!" She stood up, wincing a little from her unhealed injuries as she did. "But no. I'm not gay. I have a boyfriend now."

"You have a boyfriend? Who?"

Alison didn't meet Spencer's eyes as she answered. "Ben."

"..._Ben?_ Ali, do you realize how messed up that is? You're dating Emily's ex-boyfriend! The boy she probably only dated in the first place to cover up her true feelings for_ you!_ And-" Spencer trailed off, apparently unable to form any more coherent sentences due to how unjust the whole situation was.

"I like him, okay? And does it really_ matter_ that he dated Emily before? She was gay, and yeah, he was probably just her big gay beard, so it's not like there were ever any actual feelings there. Anyways, do you like Toby back?"

"He's cute," Spencer admitted, thinking of him. "I guess I just never really thought about dating him."

"Well, you should start thinking about it soon," Alison encouraged her. "He may be a freak, but you're a junior in high school who's never had a real boyfriend before, and if you don't date a boy soon people may start thinking _you're_ gay."

* * *

"Just hold on to my arm," Ben suggested to Alison. "The walk from here to your bedroom is pretty far. I don't want you to get too tired if you try to make the trip on your own."

Alison nodded her head slightly. She had just been released from the hospital. She gripped his arm tightly, letting him lead her into the house and to her bedroom. Her dad followed behind them, carrying her stuff.

She sat down on her bed, running her fingers through her disheveled hair. She felt disgusting at the moment, but spending days cooped up in a hospital room tended to do that to you.

He sat down beside her, placing a hand casually on her leg. At first it felt warm, comforting, but when he began to squeeze her skin a little she started to feel goosebumps rise up on her arms. And not the pleasant kind, either.

He pressed his lips to hers. "I bet you're glad to be home, aren't you?" He asked without moving his lips.

"Yeah," she whispered, letting him kiss her but not reciprocating. She wasn't in the mood tonight.

His lips moved down to her neck, gently kissing and sucking at the skin there, hard enough to leave a hickey that would be visible to the entire world. At the same time, his hand began to move slowly up her leg until it was far up enough to be resting directly over her vagina, under the dress and over the panties.

"Ben, stop..."

"Come on, Ali." He began to rub a slow finger over her, before slipping under the panties and gliding through her folds. "Don't you want to have fun?"

"Not tonight!" She glared at him, trying to appear tough, but she was genuinely beginning to grow scared. He had a look of pure power and lust in his eyes, so different from the kind gentleman she usually saw when she looked at him. "I just got out of the hospital! Ow, Ben, you're hurting me!"

_Was he really pulling down his pants?_ She thought to herself, watching in what appeared to be slow motion as he pulled his pants down with one hand. This all felt like some kind of deranged dream. Was he really about to violate her in her own bedroom?

"Get your hands off of her!" A voice growled. Alison jumped about a mile in the mirror, relieved but terrified for completely different reasons at the same time. She expected to see Jason lurking over Ben with a gun. Her and her brother may not get along, but he was willing to kill anyone who touched her. But it wasn't Jason.

She couldn't figure out who it was, but whoever it was charged at Ben, knocking him off of Alison and onto the ground. "Don't ever touch her again!" The person growled.

Ben's eyes widened. "What the fuck are you doing here?! You're dea-"

"_Go!_"

Ben jumped up, scurrying out of the room, and then Alison's savior turned her head, revealing her identity to Alison.

It was Emily.

* * *

_**Love it? Hate it? Review it? Review it, please! :)**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**The truth about the night of Emily's disappearance is revealed in this chapter! And there is a rape scene, just so you've been warned. It's nothing terribly graphic, though! :)**_

* * *

"Emily! But- w-what are you doing here? How...?"

Emily placed a finger to her lips.

"You're alive." Alison wiped at her eyes, banishing the tears that had gathered in her eyes and were threatening to spill over. "I thought that I was dreaming in the hospital when you came to visit me. But-"

"I have to go." Emily's voice was rough, scratchy. "You can't tell anyone about this."

"Please," Alison begged. "Don't leave me here. I-I can't just stay here all alone now that I know you're not dead! Take me with you."

Emily stared into Alison's wide blue eyes, her heart softening as she did. She had never been able to refuse those eyes, and Alison knew. There was no way that Emily could say no to Alison when she was looking at her like that.

"Fine. But you're gonna have to leave Rosewood for a long time if you want to come with me," Emily warned. "It's not safe here for me. And not for you, either."

Alison got up off of the bed. "Of course. I don't... Rosewood's not the same for me anymore without you around, anyway," Alison admitted. "Can I just pack some stuff before we leave?"

Emily nodded her head in compliance, and Alison began to go around the room. She headed over to her closet, dragging out her duffel bag. She packed clothes, basic hygienic products she'd be needing, her phone and charger, and all the money she had, stored in various places around the room. Emily stood in the corner of the room silently, watching as Alison packed. This had been her dream for over a year now, ever since that fateful night. Of being able to reveal herself to Alison again, to be able to take the girl with her and confide everything that had happened to her when she had left the barn at their sleepover...

"I'm ready," Alison told Emily finally. Emily nodded, heading over to Alison's bedroom window. She slowly opened it so that Alison's parents and Jason wouldn't hear, since it had a habit of creaking a lot.

"Here." She extended her hand to get Alison to hand over her duffel bag. She couldn't help but giggle as she handed it over to her friend. _Always the knight in shining armor,_ Alison thought to herself.

Emily slid down the tree silently, feet gripping the branches and hands on the trunk. She obviously hadn't let herself get out of shape, even if she had spent over a year in hiding... or wherever she had been.

Alison slid out of the window as well, shutting the window behind her as she went. She was much clumsier and slower coming down the tree than Emily had been, but she made it to the ground without any fatalities, and Emily gripped her hand tightly once she had made it to the ground. "Here," the dark-haired girl whispered, rooting around in Alison's duffel bag until she found the hoodie Alison had packed. It was pink, unlike the black one that Emily herself was wearing, but it was better than nothing. "Put this on." Alison complied, slipping the hoodie on, and once she was finished Emily quickly slipped a hair tie off of her wrist, pulling Alison's hair back into a ponytail for her. She pulled the hood over Alison's head, and then did the same for herself. "We can't let anyone see us."

Emily began to walk, and Alison followed her, keeping up a steady pace. Finally, after they had walked a few blocks she made her way to a car parked on the side of the road. She took a set of keys out of her pocket, unlocking both doors and nodding her head to the passenger seat.

Alison climbed in, buckling her seatbelt before Emily took off, driving the car right out of Rosewood's limits. "When'd you have time to get a car...?"

Emily chuckled lightly. "That's not really important right now, Ali."

The two drove in silence for a while after that. Finally they got to a hotel. Well, that was a rather generous term to describe it. It was much more of a motel.

"I've been living here for a while," Emily explained to Alison as they got out of the car, heading towards the front door. "It's far enough away from Rosewood that they haven't heard of or seen a picture of poor, dead Emily Fields, but it's close enough that I can still keep an eye on you girls and protect you if need be."

They headed through the lobby, Emily greeting the guy on duty by name, and then down the hallway to what was apparently Emily's room. She unlocked the door, pushing it open.

"It's not much, but it's home," she sighed. "And it can be your home too if you want it to be."

Alison nodded her head. She was trembling a little, and she wondered if she was eventually gonna wake up and realize that this was all some sort of sick, twisted dream that her brain had conjured to torment her. She hoped not. She really wanted this to be reality, more than she had ever wanted anything else.

She took her first good look at Emily for the first time in over a year. She was wearing jeans tucked into boots, a tank top and the hoodie over it, of course. She was much thinner than she had been when Alison had last seen her, but she still looked as beautiful as she always had.

"What do you say we order a pizza? My treat," Emily said brightly, going over to a drawer and taking a wad of money out of it. "I'm starving."

Alison nodded her head slowly. "Yeah, that sounds good. I'm just gonna take a shower real quick, okay?"

"Alright." Alison dug into her duffel bag, taking out some pajamas for her to change into after her shower and her shampoo, conditioner and soap, and then she headed into the bathroom.

She washed her hair, rinsing it out, and then she scrubbed her body as hard as she could, trying to get _him_ off of her. She felt filthy, even though he hadn't actually raped her. But he would've if Emily hadn't shown up to stop him. He really would've raped her.

Ben Coogan wasn't the person she had thought he was.

* * *

Alison ran a brush through her wet blonde hair after her shower was done, sitting cross-legged on the bed. Emily brought the pizza into the hotel room, along with a liter of Pepsi.

The two girls dug into the food, eagerly eating like they hadn't eaten for weeks. "This is the first thing I've eaten since I had to eat that wretched hospital food," Alison murmured through a mouthful of pizza.

Emily laughed, but then her face grew somber. "So... I'm surprised you haven't asked me yet."

"Asked you what?"

"What happened to me the night of our sleepover."

Alison nodded her head slowly. "I think I've been too afraid to ask," she admitted. "I'm not so sure I want to hear about someone hurting you... and someone_ must've_ hurt you really badly. I can't see you faking your death for any other reason. But... I think I should know what happened. Even if I throw up afterwards."

* * *

_Emily sat up on her sleeping bag when she heard her phone go off. She grabbed it curiously, wondering who'd be texting her this late at night._

**_Hey, I had to run back home to get something. Also want to talk to you. Meet me in my backyard? -Alison_**

_She felt a feeling of elation and dread run through her body at the same time, the same feeling that she had gotten every time her and Alison had been together ever since Alison had rejected her in the locker room a couple of weeks ago. She stood up, running her fingers through her dark hair. She wanted to look her best for Alison, even if she didn't feel the same way. After she was semi-satisfied with her reflection she headed out of the door of the barn, walking towards Alison's backyard._

_Just then, someone snuck up behind her, grabbing her rather roughly. He placed his hand over Emily's mouth so she couldn't scream for help._

_"You're mine now, you little carpet-muncher," a familiar voice whispered in her ear._

_"Ben?!" she whispered in terror, eyes darting upwards to confirm what she already knew. Her boyfriend was strangling her._

_She might be gay, but that didn't mean she hadn't come to care about him and trust him. Why was he doing this to her? And why had he called her... _that?_ Did he _know?

_"Why are you doing this?" she asked fearfully._

_"I think we both know why. It's too bad your little friend Alison isn't here to save you now, huh?"_

_"I..."_

_"Nobody cheats on me and gets away with it," he hissed into her ear. She shivered at his proximity. She was now genuinely fearing for her life. "And especially not with _another girl._ It's fucking nasty,_ Emmy."_ She bristled as he used her dad's nickname for her against her. "And really, in the library, a very public place? How stupid are you?"_

_"Ben... I'm s-sorry. Please, it won't happen again. Just let me go."_

_"Say you don't love her," Ben growled. "Tell me you don't love her and you're not gay and it was a one-time thing, and maybe I'll consider letting you go."_

_"I- I can't do that. I'm sorry, Ben, but this is who I am, and... m-me kissing Alison was just that part of me trying to break through. I _do_ love Alison. I don't want to, but I do."_

_"You've left me no other choice, then." He gripped her by the roots of her hair, dragging her further across the DiLaurentis' backyard until they were dangerously close to the hole that was there._

_"Ben!" Her eyes widened when he began to unbutton his pants. "Don't do this... please don't do this," she begged._

_"Too fucking late. You've made your bed, now you gotta lie in it." He pulled her pajama pants down, roughly forcing his length into her._

_She sobbed the entire time, a fresh batch of tears coming every time he thrusted back in. It hurt like hell, and this wasn't the first time she had envisioned for herself at all. When she thought of the way she wanted to lose her virginity, she had imagined candles and rose petals and a girl with her, gently touching her and making her feel bliss. Not a horny, angry teenage boy violating her body._

_Emily collapsed to the ground once it was over, breathing in and out heavily, trying to slow her heartbeat. She pulled her clothes back on slowly as she lay there._ Well, maybe that's the end of that,_ she thought hopefully. _He's hurt me, he's humiliated me and proven his point, I'm just a stupid lesbo who needed to be put in her place. Maybe now he'll just go away and leave me alone.

_But she underestimated him._

_He slowly pulled a knife out of his discarded pants, sneering at Emily as she stared at the gleaming knife. "Do you have any last words to say for your lesbo lover before I kill you, Em?" He asked tauntingly. When she remained silent, just glaring at him, he shrugged his shoulders. "Guess not," he said before he dove down, knife aimed at Emily. She grabbed his arm, twisting it so that the knife drove itself into Emily's arm instead of her neck, which would've been a fatal puncture._

_She let out a small yelp of pain as it cut her arm, clattering to the ground, but she quickly grabbed it with her other hand, raising it and stabbing it into his leg._

_"You bitch!" He yelled, tackling her. He punched her in the face before he stood up, grabbing a shovel that was sitting a few feet away. He raised it, smacking Emily in the head with it, and she let out one small final cry before she passed out. He must've thought she was finally dead, because then he set it down, gathering his stuff and quickly leaving the scene._

_Emily stayed passed out until she felt someone shaking her shoulder. "Emily, what are you doing out here?" Spencer whispered. "You have to come out to the barn. What happened to your face?" She asked, eyes widening when she noticed the blood that was all over and the large bruises that were forming on Emily's face._

_"I c-can't!" Emily whispered, shaking all over like a leaf._

_"Why not?"_

_"I have to disappear, Spencer! I can't stay here, he thinks I'm dead! And he's gonna hurt Ali if I don't leave." Emily was sobbing violently by that point. "He's gonna hurt her if he thinks I'm still alive, Spence! I kissed her and I love her, and now I've fucked everything up for her! He hurt me, and now he's gonna hurt her, too! You have to help me."_

_Spencer took a deep breath. "Okay. I'll help you."_

* * *

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